


The Nekomimi Robot Was a Mistake

by UnhelpfulPanda



Series: Stridercest Week [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Catboys & Catgirls, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Stridercest Week, but this time he just wanted to be worshipped, hal is a nekomimi robot because dirk is a weeb and a furry, halcat is probably 1000x more assholish than this usually, nekomimi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9365993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnhelpfulPanda/pseuds/UnhelpfulPanda
Summary: Making Hal into a nekomimi robot was a bad idea. You see, cats are assholes. Hal, too, is an asshole. When you combine the two, you get an Asshole 2.0, new and improved and ready to make Dirk suffer. The nekomimi robot was a mistake...And yet, Dirk doesn't seem to really mind it much.(Stridercest Week day 2)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Dirk/Hal
> 
> For Stridercest Week day 2, my favorite AU
> 
> idk about favorite AU, but nekomimi Hal sounds simultaneously like the worst and best idea ever. I think that's what Dirk thinks as well.

            “Anime was a mistake” said famous Ghibli Studios co-founder Hayao Miyazaki…

            Actually, he didn’t. A bunch of people were convinced he had, but it was some tumblr hoax that blew way the fuck out of portion. You fought with Dave over the course of three full days over whether Miyazaki said the quote until he finally decided to Google it so you would leave him alone. And you were right. No surprise there.

            The _point_ is, anime might not have been a mistake, but what you did certainly was.

            Your name is Dirk Strider, and after the game was over, Hal asked for a new body, since sprites were “kind of really fudsnking outdated and lame” according to him. He had _wanted_ you to make him a ten foot tall robot dragon body, complete with the ability to breathe fire and fly, but you had vetoed that idea with a vengeance for obvious reasons.

            In an effort to placate him after you “cockblocked my dragon fantasies, you fusdfskfing kinkshaming _scum_ ”, you had designed and made a hyper-realistic body with cat ears and a cat tail, and paws, and advanced flexibility and agility, and heightened senses…

            In short, you had made him a robot nekomimi, a robocat boy.

            It. Was. A **_mistake_**.

            See, you had thought that Hal would look really adorable with his lil paw beans and his cute kitty ears. What you had failed to recall, however, was that Hal was an asshole, and cats were assholes. Which meant that a cat Hal turned out to be Asshole 2.0, upgraded for maximum suffering on your part.

            Every morning, 5 a.m. sharp, Hal would sit on your chest and yowl your name as obnoxiously as possible. He wasn’t unbearably heavy, but he was quite a bit bigger than an average cat. If you shoved him off, he would give you these big pitiful cat eyes and tell you he was hungry, then leave the room in a way that made your guilt rise tenfold.

            If you didn’t go after him to apologize and make him food, you would find him later sleeping in the ripped scraps of what _used to be_ an article of your clothing. Or sometimes he would perch up high and wait for you to pass underneath him before pouncing on you, landing on your back with his claws out, and then run away before you could retaliate.

           He _was_ cute though when he curled up next to you on the couch for a cat nap, though.

            Apparently, you hadn’t been paying him enough attention lately, because he hopped up onto your desk while you worked on a project for Roxy, scattering notes and pens and a (thankfully) empty cup as he did.

            “What do you want, Hal?” You asked with a sigh. He nudged your shoulder with his head.

            “Pet me, slave,” He demanded.

            “I’m not your slave,” you huffed. Hal rolled over onto his back, lying on your keyboard.

            “Worship me like the fucking prince I am,” he added, wiggling for extra cuteness. You moved the keyboard out from under him and reluctantly pet him from the top of his head down to the base of his tail. Hal sighed in content and closed his eyes, relaxing as you treated him like nekomimi royalty. You scratched under his chin and he lifted his head for you, a mechanical purr starting from where his vocal processors were located.

            “I _was_ actually doing something, you know,” you mentioned idly, rubbing at the white cat ears in place of human ears.

            “Mm, yeah, but I’m cute and need to be adored, so its irrelevant now,” Hal responded, interrupting the purring noise. He blinked his eyes open when you pulled your hands away. “What are you doing, Dirk? Why’d you stop? Don’t you adore me?” he inquired, a deep frown appearing on his face.

            “I don’t know why, but yeah I guess I do adore you,” you replied with a roll of your eyes, trying to go back to your project. Hal pouted at you, using those big red eyes of his. “Alright, alright, I know. It’s because you’re cute. You’re adorable. I adore you,” you corrected yourself.

            Hal gave you a pleased look in return, and you couldn’t really help it when you leaned down and pecked him on the lips. He placed his paws on either side of your face and pulled your face back down to his before you could pull away to kiss you more deeply.

            You lazily kissed for what felt like eternity, only pulling back when your computer screen timed out. As soon as you did, Hal yawned, opening his mouth wide enough to show off his fangs. “Tired?” You asked with a snort.

            “Mrow,” he replied back. You sighed as if you were _so_ put upon, even though both you and Hal knew he was being too cute to say no to, and scooped him up in your arms, carrying him to bed.

            Hal pawed at the bed when you set him down. “Nap with me?” he asked.

            “I have work to do, though,” you protested, trying to resist the urge to cuddle up and nap with your catboy.

            “Mew,” he mewled softly, and that was the end of your argument. You plopped down beside him and let him curl up against you, purring loudly.

            “I love you, you big brat,” you mumbled.

            “I love you too, you weaboo furry,” he shot back without any real malice, rubbing his cheek against yours. You kissed him goodnight and then waited for him to fall asleep, with the intention of sneaking away when he was asleep. But the sight of him sleeping snuggled into your side, purring with his tongue sticking just slightly out of his mouth, broke your resolve, and you ended up napping with him anyways. Roxy could wait.

            Maybe your nekomimi robot idea wasn’t such a mistake, after all……

**Author's Note:**

> believe me, Hal can get much more assholish. buuuuut this fic was for him being cute and cuddly, so I kept his assholishness to the bare minimum level (because it would be too OOC for him to have no assholishness lol)
> 
> you should see Hal when Dirk came home after petting a stray cat. Dirk had never been snubbed quite so aggressively. Also there was a pawprint in his sandwich and he still doesn't believe it was an accident at all.
> 
> [ Stridercestweek 2017 calendar link](http://stridercest--week.tumblr.com/post/154873481976/)


End file.
